As a new widow, I expected profound sadness, but was thrown off-guard by changing relationships
and unexpected social awkwardness.
I was upset with well-meaning people who:
offered “words of wisdom”
compared their prior losses to mine
introduced me as a widow before I was ready
failed to include me
assumed I’d be back on my feet after a year
I was upset with myself for:
seeking too much sympathy
asking for help too often
responding unhappily to invitations
telling my story of loss to strangers
sharing the worst side of me with my closest friends
In 45 essays, two voices describe the social challenges I encountered. My personal voice is
overwhelmed with grief and my changing identity while my voice as a psychologist attempts to
identify “what I can do for myself” to cope and move on.
